I'm saying goodbye for several reasons. We have grown apart, Facebook and I, and I feel that our differences can not be overcome. Years ago, when I first signed up, I remember the excitement I felt at "connecting" to all these people I hadn't seen in years. "Sharing" information and photos of my kids and my life with people I didn't get to see often enough. I remember thinking, what a perfect thing this is, our lives are so busy now, we need something like this to keep everyone connected. Brilliant!
As the years have gone by, though, I'm seeing the dark side. My friend left Facebook some months ago and I gave her hell for it. Now, I'm seeing her point. I log on and read about someone's dinner, complete with color photos and menu details, at a restaurant I will never go to because I don't live in Friendlyplace, Nevada. I find myself feeling bombarded by an old friend's political rantings and distracted by a woman I was never really friends with's current obsession with cute cat videos. Meanwhile, in the back of my mind, I'm thinking, I'm wasting my life. These are minutes I will never get back.
I have several goals that I have been putting off and Facebook has been the ideal time suck. And, having recently breached the 40 year mark, I'm searching for deeper meaning in my life and, in turn, deeper relationships. Really connecting with the people around me. I'm not very good at that by nature. And let's face it, Facebook is not a connection. It's a tool I use to avoid doing the work I need to do to actually connect with more people. It's the illusion of a connection. It makes you feel like you're with people when you're not really with people. It's smoke and mirrors.
If I really want to get down to it though, the truth of the matter is: I suck at making friends. It's the truth. And Facebook isn't helping me address that problem. My whole life, at any given time, I've only had a few people that I really felt connected to. I'm totally aware of why this is. I'm an introvert by nature and most of the time would just rather be home, under a blanket, with a really good cup of coffee, reading. I also have never been good at playing the "girl games". You know what I'm talking about, getting your nails done, talking about handbags and shoe shopping, wearing make-up of any sort, hosting or attending any party where you are encouraged to buy anything for any reason. My kids are enrolled in a school district where mother's routinely drop their children off wearing 3 inch heels, with perfectly "blown" hair (I swear that's a thing), and their Tory Burch handbag daintily perched in the crook of their arm. I'm lucky if I remembered to change out of my slippers. I'm not the person you see at a PTA meeting and think, "Wow. She looks like she's got it together. We should get coffee." Nope. I'm the woman in the corner wearing my husband's sweatshirt with the Birkenstocks on I may have bought while still in college with my face in a book, hoping to squeeze in one more page before people rudely interrupt me with their talking.
I once brought my knitting on a wine tour bus. Yes. I did.
I once brought my knitting on a wine tour bus. Yes. I did.
So, you can see why making friends doesn't come easily to me. The people that care about me and want to see cute photos of my kids and little snippets and articles on quality childcare, will follow me over here or just pop in to say "hello". If I want to feel a deeper connection with other like minded people, I'm going to have to put some effort into it. And that time is going to have to come from you, Facebook. Maybe I'll have a change of heart, but for now, we need to spend some time apart.
