Yes, I'm a wimp!

Friday, August 14, 2015

I've chosen the above image to bring to mind a cool and breezy summer day.  Taken in one of my favorite places, Door County, it was exactly that.  It was cool but not cold, exactly how I like it.  I've always liked cold.  I pick winter over summer and crisp fall days that require a sweater over warm sweaty ones that require ice water EVERY SINGLE TIME.  So, what possessed me to think I could live without my central air conditioning, I have no idea.  Wait, yes, I do, it's call a midcentury modern house that was screaming my name.

You see, sometime, in the next 9 months, we will be moving to a different house.  Our children are all open-enrolled in a neighboring school district (another post, another time) and I am so very tired of driving.  Seriously, there have been days where I have been in my car for 6+ hours, driving back and forth.  Not to mention, I run a childcare and to say it isn't great for business is an understatement.  Through an incredible carpool lady and a terrific after school program, I have managed to minimize the impact all the driving has on my daycare kids.  But me and my vehicle, we're still suffering.  Even if I'm not picking them up right after school, I'm still picking them up after AFTER school or after their evening sports program or driving them all the way out there for a party/event/playdate/concert.  I'm starting to think they should sell minivans with wallpaper and a mini-fridge.  At least then I'd feel like I'm still home, sort of.  So, these events have pushed us to sell and move.  Thus, the constant browsing on the MLS and other such sites searching for the perfect yet affordable future dwelling.

Which brings me to THE house.  You know the one.  The house of your dreams, where everything you've ever wanted has come together into this beautiful thing you actually get to live in every single day.  That one.

For me, I'm a sucker for all things mid-century modern.

As an example, this beauty redesigned in Oxford, California, by Koch Architects.

This is the kind of house that makes me drool.  Seriously.
But, lets be real here people, good design doesn't often come cheap.  And, not being a millionaire,  this type of house is usually well out of our price range.  So stumbling upon one that hasn't crossed over that "never gonna happen" price point, I was pretty excited.  Until I noticed one teensy little detail.  No central air.  Nor does it appear it would be possible to put it in without selling one of my kidneys on ebay.  So, in true Tricia fashion, I started the self-talk.  I'm a pro at talking just about anyone into anything if it's something I'm truly passionate about.

Especially myself.

"Oh, you don't really need central air.  How hot does it get in Minnesota anyway?  It's only summer like 6 days out of the year here.  Besides, HUGE energy suck, I'm sure it's terrible for the environment, and is totally contributing to global warming.  Like, I don't even know how you sleep at night with all that artificial cold air blowing on your face, slowly eating away the little ozone layer we have left.  Plus, it's probably making you sick.  I'm sure it's full of mold.  Didn't all those people in New York City get Legionnaire's from cooling towers? Those migraines? Definitely the central air.  Look at it this way, you would just be moving into a more environmentally friendly, healthier life-style.  Really, by buying this house you would be doing your own small part in saving the planet."

See.  I'm good.

So, that's exactly where my head was the day our central air died, when it was 87 degrees and humid.  And the next day when it was 92 and just DAMN HOT.

What have I learned in two days?
1. I'm a wimp.  In 48 hours, I have turned into a whining immobile lump.  Cleaning?  It's too hot.  Cooking?  Too hot. Moving off this couch for any reason.  Hot.  You get the idea.  I have figured out that without central air, I am just useless.  Complete jello.  My body is apparently actually powered by cold air.
2. I will not be buying that house.
3. The current owners have only lived in the house one year and are selling it now because apparently they can't live without central air either.

Leaving Facebook

Thursday, March 26, 2015

I'm leaving Facebook.

I'm saying goodbye for several reasons.  We have grown apart, Facebook and I, and I feel that our differences can not be overcome.  Years ago, when I first signed up, I remember the excitement I felt at "connecting" to all these people I hadn't seen in years.  "Sharing" information and photos of my kids and my life with people I didn't get to see often enough.  I remember thinking, what a perfect thing this is, our lives are so busy now, we need something like this to keep everyone connected. Brilliant!  

As the years have gone by, though, I'm seeing the dark side.  My friend left Facebook some months ago and I gave her hell for it.  Now, I'm seeing her point.  I log on and read about someone's dinner, complete with color photos and menu details, at a restaurant I will never go to because I don't live in Friendlyplace, Nevada.  I find myself feeling bombarded by an old friend's political rantings and distracted by a woman I was never really friends with's current obsession with cute cat videos.  Meanwhile, in the back of my mind, I'm thinking, I'm wasting my life.  These are minutes I will never get back. 

I have several goals that I have been putting off and Facebook has been the ideal time suck.  And, having recently breached the 40 year mark, I'm searching for deeper meaning in my life and, in turn, deeper relationships.  Really connecting with the people around me.  I'm not very good at that by nature.  And let's face it, Facebook is not a connection.  It's a tool I use to avoid doing the work I need to do to actually connect with more people.  It's the illusion of a connection.  It makes you feel like you're with people when you're not really with people.  It's smoke and mirrors.

If I really want to get down to it though, the truth of the matter is: I suck at making friends.  It's the truth.  And Facebook isn't helping me address that problem.  My whole life, at any given time, I've only had a few people that I really felt connected to.  I'm totally aware of why this is.  I'm an introvert by nature and most of the time would just rather be home, under a blanket, with a really good cup of coffee, reading.  I also have never been good at playing the "girl games".  You know what I'm talking about, getting your nails done, talking about handbags and shoe shopping, wearing make-up of any sort, hosting or attending any party where you are encouraged to buy anything for any reason.  My kids are enrolled in a school district where mother's routinely drop their children off wearing 3 inch heels, with perfectly "blown" hair (I swear that's a thing), and their Tory Burch handbag daintily perched in the crook of their arm.  I'm lucky if I remembered to change out of my slippers.  I'm not the person you see at a PTA meeting and think, "Wow.  She looks like she's got it together.  We should get coffee."  Nope.  I'm the woman in the corner wearing my husband's sweatshirt with the Birkenstocks on I may have bought while still in college with my face in a book, hoping to squeeze in one more page before people rudely interrupt me with their talking.

I once brought my knitting on a wine tour bus.  Yes.  I did.  

So, you can see why making friends doesn't come easily to me.  The people that care about me and want to see cute photos of my kids and little snippets and articles on quality childcare, will follow me over here or just pop in to say "hello".  If I want to feel a deeper connection with other like minded people, I'm going to have to put some effort into it.  And that time is going to have to come from you, Facebook.  Maybe I'll have a change of heart, but for now, we need to spend some time apart.

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